In working with junior high students the topic of vocation often comes up. I always ask them, “What vocation do you think God might be calling you to?” The answer, of course, is almost always marriage. Yet it is not so much the answer that concerns me but the way in which it is answered. With very few exceptions the answer is always phrased in this fashion, “I think I want to get married.” And I always reply, “you didn’t answer my question. That’s what you think, want, or feel right now but have you tried asking God about His plans for your life?” The deer-in-the-headlights look usually follows.
Even now, when the topic of vocation comes up in our home with our 5 and 6 year old, we say, “maybe that is what God wants you to do but keep asking everyday until you know for sure. He’ll tell you.” Our children need to be reminded, as do we, to constantly listen to and for the voice of God in their life especially with something as important as a vocation.
A vocation is a calling from God not a choice. It is His plan for our salvation. It is how He has planned for us to live and become holy, a plan that is for our good not for evil. Too often today we look at “vocation” as a job or career. If vocation is seen in this light, and there is little or no prayer involved in seeking ones vocation, can we wonder at the current state of vocations to the religious life and the current state of vocations to the married life?
Today’s Gospel is about vocation as a calling. The question of divorce arises and the conversation turns toward the true design for marriage and the question of celibacy for the sake of the Kingdom. In my opinion, the whole passage turns or hinges on verse 11 “Not all can accept [this] word, but only those to whom that is granted.” This verse comes right after the disciples state that it would be easier never to marry than to stay with one wife forever and right before Jesus’ discourse on celibacy for the sake of the Kingdom.
Here we can understand that both vocations are difficult and each has it’s own difficulties. Yet these difficulties are not difficulties at all if one truly has a vocation to that state in life. Jesus says it is a gift “to whom it is granted” and we should not be grasping at gifts that aren’t ours.
How then can either vocation survive and thrive? How can one man stay married to one woman for life and vice versa? How can a man or woman forsake marriage completely for the sake of the Kingdom? Isn’t Jesus’ contradicting Himself, “it is not good for man to be alone“, “some have renounced marriage for the sake of the kingdom.”?
It’s certainly not a contradiction if we understand that these vocations are callings, not choices. We could, with some artistic license say this, “some have renounced marriage for the sake of the Kingdom while others have renounced a vocation to religious life for the sake of the Kingdom.” Both vocations are needed and flow to and from one another. However, what is the key phrase – “for the sake of the Kingdom“. This is what both vocations are supposed to lead us toward; the Heavenly Kingdom. So, let us pray for an increase in vocations to the priesthood and religious life. Let us also pray for an increase in true vocations to marriage, for the sake of the Kingdom.
Looking for more on how to discern your vocation? Check out these links:
MEN WOMENFROM THE SAINTS – “For no one hates his own flesh but rather nourishes and cherishes it, even as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “For this reason a man shall leave (his) father and (his) mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This is a great mystery, but I speak in reference to Christ and the church.” – Saint Paul’s letter to the Ephesians chapter 5 verses 29-32
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