Do You Love Me?

I read today’s Gospel through tears of joy. I was profoundly touched by the conversation between Jesus
and Peter. I was moved to tears by the gentleness and compassion Jesus shows to Peter, and to us if we but ask. 

The gregarious, outspoken disciple is finally humbled by the Lord and recognizes, maybe for the first time, that Jesus truly loves him, trusts him, forgives, and forgets all of Peter’s failings and weaknesses. This passage is moving but we would do well to first read the entire 21st Chapter of John, a mere 25 verses to really understand how the relationship between these two men has moved to an entirely different level.

John brings his Gospel to a close by taking us back to the very beginning of the relationship. Back then, Peter was out fishing all night, catching nothing, before his first encounter with the Lord. Here too, Peter, who is at this point confused, wrestling with emotions of hope and guilt, joy and sorrow, is out fishing all night catching nothing.

Again, like the first time, an unrecognized stranger calls out asking if Peter and his friends have caught anything. Again, the answer, they had fished all night and caught nothing. As it was with the first meeting, the “stranger” instructs them to cast out into the deep. Again, a net bursting catch is made.

This lesson of this parallel story from the beginning and ending of their earthly relationship should not be lost on us. Jesus is the one who initiates the conversation. He is the one who calls out to Peter and to us. He wants us to interact with Him. He invites us, time and again, to start over. It’s as if He is gently whispering to us, “I love you, let’s try again, shall we…”

Jesus knows Peter’s heart, He knows ours as well. This is why He does not condemn. He does not even mention the abandonment or denial. There are no harsh words spoken. There are none spoken to Peter either..

Jesus simply asks, “Do you love me?”

I imagine that Peter’s answer, though not recorded and perhaps not spoken, is like mine. “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you..but I’m scared. I’m scared I’ll fail you again. I’m scared of the pain and suffering of this life. I’m scared and worry that I will not have the strength to endure all that lies ahead. I love you, Lord but I am also so weak and afraid.“

Jesus takes Peter at his word. His questions are not veiled. He has no hidden agenda. He is not trying to trick or trap Peter (or us), “Do you love me?”

With this second question Peter and maybe you and I may be tempted to think that the Lord doesn’t believe the answer we have given. We might think He wants a different answer or a proof. Afterall, that’s what we would want from someone who betrayed us; mere words would not be enough for us. Yet, it is enough for Him. His gaze grows more steady, His look more loving, “Do you love me?”

My heart cries out, “Lord, stop, I cannot endure this. As I’ve said before – depart from me for I am a sinful man. No, don’t depart. Stay with me, Lord, for I am a sinful man. Apart from you I can do nothing. I know that much about myself. Apart from you I slip into sin and despair. Apart from you I abandon all hope and deny that I ever knew you! Stay with me, Lord. Oh, Lord, you know everything, you know that I love you, maybe not perfectly, maybe like a weak, fickle child but I do love you, help me to love you!”

Jesus’ response to this is simply, “Feed my sheep, feed my lambs..” In other words, “do as I have done. Love others, even when the abandon and deny you. Love others, even when the crucify you. Love others, no matter what they do to you…and…always be ready to forgive them and love them even more.”

Who can love this way? Not me. At least not without His love. John later tells us in his first letter, “Whoever is without love does not know God, for God is love.” God is love, it is His very nature. It is ours as well for we are created in His image and likeness. We were created out of love, with love, and to love. And so, His persistent question, the one that should echo in our minds each and every moment – Do you love me? – is not an accusatory question. It is an invitation and reminder to love as He loves. Certainly not an easy task, but with His ever-present help, one we can fulfill each and every moment from the beginning of our relationship with Him until the end of our earthly journey.

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