It’s day 14 of 68 in this journey to a better me. I think it’s time to take a step back and look at the big picture as I go through a review of these areas of improvement.
I stayed up way too late last night watching the election returns come in. I went to bed at 12:30 AM and so there was no way I was going to get up and workout on a little more than 4 hours of sleep.
My late rising and no workout led to no prayer time. Missing both my physical and spiritual goals in turn led to dismal thinking on my part…
I failed on the physical today as well as the spiritual. Why am I even doing this? I should just stop and find something better to do. These failures are a reflection of who I am as a husband, father, and man. These are just more failures on top of my already heaping pile of failures. If there’s anything I’m good at, it’s failure. I’m a failure at work, at writing, as a husband, as a father, as a man. Fail. Fail. Fail.
Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you to my inner critic. He’s the man, the myth, the legend I can always count on to bring…me…down. Welcome also to living in the GAP. Living in the GAP is a way of living where I always compare myself to the ideal me (an ideal that constantly changes; a moving target that is impossible to hit) and find that I always come up short. Do you do this too? Yes, I know you do. We all do from time to time, unfortunately.
So, at day 14, I thought it might be a good time to step out of the GAP mentality and into a GAIN mentality. Living in the GAIN is not measuring forward toward an ever moving horizon. Rather, it’s measuring backwards; to see how far you’ve come. Why? It’s the only way to measure progress. It’s the only way to measure your growth and change.
If we are trying to change for the better, it doesn’t do us any good to compare ourselves today to the person we want to be like in the future. That person doesn’t exist yet. However, we can measure ourselves today to the person we were yesterday, last week, or last year. Has there been change? Is it good or bad? Why? What can I do different today that tomorrow’s me will look back at and say, “wow, look how you improved from yesterday!” Keep in mind, these changes don’t need to be earth shaking. If you do one push-up today that you didn’t do yesterday, that’s growth. That’s change. Keep doing that for a week adding more as you are able. In a year, your future self will admire how far you’ve come. But, again, always measure backwards to keep your head in the GAIN.
Let’s take a look at my 14 days with a GAIN perspective and put those perceived failures aside.
- Physical – I worked out 11 of 14 days. That’s 79%. It’s not perfect but it’s a 1000% increase over what I was doing before I started these 68 days. I’ve increased my reps over that time as well. Measuring backwards helps me see progress in this area and I gain hope and inspiration to work harder!
- Spiritual – I’ve stuck to my prayer routine 12 of 14 days. That’s 86% success rate (not that the Lord is keeping score). That’s far better than I was doing in the days, weeks, and months previous! I’ve set aside time to be with God, intercede for family, friends, and our country and I’ve learned things from Scripture and the saints that I would have otherwise missed.
- Intellectual
- Spanish – With a GAP mentality I readily see that I’m not a fluent Spanish speaker. In the GAIN I see that I’m 14/14 for practice days. I finished #1 in my “league” in the App. I’ve learned some 300+ new words. I can read and translate in my mind fairly quick. I’m making great progress.
- Summa – The book is massive, intimidating, and difficult to understand at times. However, I’ve read over 110 pages, gained some interesting insights, and used some of what I’ve learned in my writing and discussions with family. These are all gains that I wouldn’t have if I never started the book.
- Cursive – Of everything I’m doing, in all areas, this is one that gives me the most satisfaction. I enjoy the challenge to both my physical and mental abilities. I’ve become better and better with each practice. Also, with a solid physical record, lead on paper, I can visibly see my progress.
- Emotional – This one is a little more difficult to nail down. However, as I look back through my posts I see progress as I learn more about what makes me happy and keeps me balanced. This post is a great example. I also see progress in our marriage relationship through our regular dialogue process. All of this adds up over the past two weeks to real, concrete, emotional gains in the areas of mental health, marriage, parenting, work, and more.
The best way for us to make real progress and change in our lives is to do the hard work and keep away from GAP thinking. Set your goals, make your plan, strive hard, but remember to take time to measure backwards. It’s where you’ll see the growth no matter how small it may seem.
How’s your GAP or GAIN thinking right now? Have you taken a moment to measure backwards? Let me know in the comments and if there’s anything I can do to help, please reach out!
A.I. Title & Image
Okay, I’ll admit it. I’m okay with both the title and image. There’s really nothing for me to poke fun at today. So, instead I’ll share an A.I. image that was created for my Gospel meditation post today. I didn’t use it, obviously but WOW. What in the world??? “Take up your cross or whatever that is,” haha, enjoy….
James M. Hahn, Author 