Encouraging Vocations: Speak Well of Priests

Hey! That’s my brother!

An elderly gentleman came to my office earlier this year. I work for a non-profit that manages endowment funds for Catholic Churches. He wanted to change the way his endowment fund was set up because he was not happy with the current pastor, church closings, etc.

He went on to rage about the previous pastor. The hate was palpable. The previous pastor had offended he and his wife in some way (made a change they didn’t like). He went on and on telling me that he hated the S.O.B. and if he had the chance he would run him down on the street with his car.

I listened patiently as he vented, agreeing with the difficult situation the Church finds herself in at this point in time. I chose my words carefully and defended both priests as best I could. I was charitable, maybe to a fault because the priest he wanted to run down was none other than my own brother. It took every ounce of patience I had not to turn this man out on his ear. I chalked it up to him simply being a bitter old man. I listened, took it, and offered it up for my brother and all priests never letting him know that he was talking about my brother. Later, when retelling the story to my boss, I was told that if it happens again, kick him or her out.

Tearing Down Priests

Recently, in another conversation, the name of a pastor was brought up in conversation. Like so many other pastors, some people loved him while others hated him. This conversation focused on his shortcomings and mistakes and bordered on libel.

One of my sons was present for the conversation and for a brief instant I glanced at him and my heart sank. What if God is calling him to the priesthood? Will he be able to hear his call in the midst of this type of noise? Will the negative talk about this or any priest push him away from being open to the call? Does this sort of conversation help or hurt vocations?

I’ll be the first to admit that no priest is perfect. Most priests will admit this too. They are very often doing the best they can with the tools they have. They are striving not only for the holiness of their flock but their own holiness as well.

Some Ideas for Talking About and To Our Priests

So, how should we discuss our priests, especially when our children are present? Here are a few suggestions:

1. If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.
   • Anything else is gossip and serves only to tear down, not build up. As St. Paul says, “Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only what is useful for building up, as there is need, so that your words may give grace to those who hear.” (Ephesians 4:9)
2. Go to your brother priest – Only the weak talk about others behind their backs. There is a chain of command even in the Church. This comes from Christ Himself!
   • “If your brother sins [against you], go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have won over your brother. If he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, so that ‘every fact may be established on the testimony of two or three witnesses.’If he refuses to listen to them, tell the church.” (Matthew 18:15-17)
3. Be Obedient – Read that again. While this obviously has limitations, I am referring to the above passage. If the fault you bring to the priest makes it to the Bishop and he rules in the priest’s favor, willingly accept the decision in humble obedience.
   • Like obedient children, do not act in compliance with the desires of your former ignorance… (1 Peter 1:14)
4. Smother your priest with love – This may be extremely difficult to do but it is the model of Christ Our Lord. He truly loved everyone (and still does). Pray for your priest, invite him to dinner, offer to help him. If he rejects all of that, continue to love him anyway. It may change his heart or yours, if needed.
   • Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The fervent prayer of a righteous person is very powerful. (James 5:16)

The priests we disparage may not be my brother but it could be someone’s brother, son, uncle, etc. Ultimately they ARE sons of God the Father. Keep that in mind. Would you want someone talking about your friend or relative that way?

With all of this in mind, let us be more mindful of how we talk about our priests and each other. God can increase vocations to the priesthood but He requests our help. Loving our priests, even when it is difficult, can show our young men that while a priest is not perfect, he is still needed, wanted, and loved by those he serves.

Agree? Disagree? Let me know in the comments!

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