Teach Me How to Pray!
I pride myself on being a “self-made man”. I have taught myself many things. When I was about 12 years-old I taught myself how to ride a unicycle. After a lot of practice and a lot of failures I was able to leave the balancing poles behind and set out to ride all over the neighborhood.
I received a great foundation in the Catholic faith under the careful eyes of Sister Dorothy and Sister Bernadette. Yet, when I came back to the faith after an extended leave of 10 years, I taught myself by using the Catechism and the Bible, and by studying various books etc.
I don’t care much for formal classes unless it is something that I am really interested in. I like to do things myself and teach myself. I call it independence, but it is really thinly veiled pride.
Self-sufficient or Prideful
Many would say that it is a great ability to be able to teach oneself but I see it as my a great fault. I am too proud to say, “teach me.” To say those words, in my mind, is the same as saying, “I don’t know something, I am weak, I need help. I don’t have what it takes.” Pride, pride, pride.
In today’s Gospel I am encouraged to put aside my pride. The apostles give me the courage to say, “teach me.” Here are men who have been following Jesus for a while. They have witnessed His miracles, heard His teachings, and watched Him pray. A pride-filled person would assume to know and be able to imitate all that the master has done by now. In fact, just a few days ago we read that apostles healed and cast out demons. Yet, now they are asking simply to know how to pray. For me, this is humility and I hope to imitate it by asking the Master to teach me everything.
Jonah’s Conversation
The first reading today also gives a great example of prayer. On the surface, it might not look like a great example, but it is!
Jonah is angry with God (I’ve been there) and confronts Him concerning the mercy shown to Nineveh. In Jonah’s mind, Nineveh deserved to be destroyed. He tells God that this is the reason he fled to Tarshish! He didn’t want Nineveh to change and be spared. He wanted justice to be meted out rather than mercy. Here’s the “prayer” and my interpretation:
“O LORD, is this not what I said while I was still in my own country? This is why I fled at first toward Tarshish. I knew that you are a gracious and merciful God, slow to anger, abounding in kindness, repenting of punishment. So now, LORD, please take my life from me; for it is better for me to die than to live.”
O Lord, I told you that I didn’t think Nineveh deserved mercy. That is why I fled away from doing your will. You are too merciful and where there is too much mercy, there is no justice. I’d rather die than live in this type of world; where mercy outweighs justice!
The Lord, as He often does in prayer (remember, prayer is conversation with the Lord), replies simply and with a question for Jonah to ponder, “Are you right to be angry?“
God, who Jonah thinks is too merciful, then shows Jonah a great mercy. He produces a gourd plant to give him shade and comfort him. Jonah delights in the plant. However, the Lord wants him to learn something and so, he destroys the plant. Again, Jonah complains and prays that God would just kill him rather than comforting him then afflicting him.
God asks Jonah a question again, “Do you have a right to be angry over the gourd plant?”
If you look closely, these questions are worded very specifically, “Do you have a right…” God goes on to show Jonah that his thinking is skewed. He shows him that he is more concerned about a plant, that he didn’t create and cost him no effort, than the many souls in Nineveh. Point taken!
Learning from Jonah and Jesus
I love this prayer, this conversation with God, because it is raw, it is real. It’s not some formulaic prayer (although those do have a place in our prayer life). It is a real conversation and a firm, patient, loving, merciful, and just God shows Jonah the error of his ways. God does the same for us if we but listen to His responses in prayer. I don’t know about you, but God often works the same way with me; He is patient and asks pointed questions to get me to think about my thinking.
The Our Father that Jesus teaches His apostles in today’s Gospel should be the foundation of our prayer life. It should guide the conversation. Jonah knew the Father but did he want God’s will to be done on Earth as it is in Heaven? Did he want the same mercy and patience shown to him to be shown to the Ninevites? The answer is, no, and so God had to redirect the prayer, the conversation, to help Jonah see things as God does. He’ll do the same for you and me if we’d just enter into the conversation, the prayer. Lord, teach us how to pray!!
How to get better at prayer.
- Set a prayer appointment – Set a time on your calendar each day to meet and speak with God.
- Slowly increase your prayer time. – Don’t jump in with an hour right from the get-go. Build up your “tolerance” so to speak.
- Commit – to praying and slowly increasing your prayer time for 30 days. Mark off the days on your calendar. If you miss a day, jump right back in, don’t give up.
- Pray – praying is talking to God, it’s spending time with your attention focused on Him. I enjoy spending time with my children regardless of their level of development. God is the same way. Spend time praying as best you can. Use formal prayers if you want or simply speak in conversation. Don’t forget to listen
- Journal – My newly revised 4 Simple Steps to Better Scripture Meditations: Guide, Workbook, and Journal walks you through 4 easy steps that will help you go deeper in your prayer life. It includes 31 days of workbook and journal pages too! It is also available for free as a download or online here.
- Read other good books about how to pray better – Prayer Primer, Deep Conversion, Deep Prayer, Time for God, The Spiritual Life: A Comprehensive Guide to Catholics Seeking Salvation.
James M. Hahn, Author 