In today’s Gospel, Jesus goes up the mountain to pray. Before coming back down from the mountain, He choses His 12 Apostles. These men will follow Him, be close to Him, abandon Him, and ultimately give their lives for Him. All but John will die a martyr’s death.
As I read through the passage a few times I felt inadequate. I’ve often felt like the Lord has chosen so many others…but not me. I wondered if there were many in the crowd who felt this way as well. Did other followers wonder why they were not chosen? Did they question their own self-worth and ponder in their hearts what might be wrong with them? I also felt angry and jealous at not being chosen. Did God care about me? Am I the only mistake that God ever made? Why should I continue to follow Him? He didn’t chose me, why should I chose Him!
Not only did I feel inadequate for not being chosen I also felt discarded and ignored. When He came down the mountain that morning He healed many people. I thought in my heart, “I’ve not been chosen, I’ve not been healed, my daughter has not been healed. Why bother?“
As I reflected on this more and examined my feelings of anger and inadequacy, I saw something in-between the lines of the passage I’d never seen before. I saw something that changed my negative feelings toward the Lord into feelings of hope and excitement. I saw my own vocation hidden within all of the words I read. I saw that behind those chosen 12, there were 24 others who had not been “chosen” directly but who had an impact on the world; the parents of those Apostles.
Too often I want to be the chosen one. I want to be the super-apostle. I want to be the one others turn to or even follow. In today’s lingo, I want the likes, shares, and follows. Too often I dismiss my vocation as a husband and father as one that is just common place, boring, uninteresting, uncelebrity-like. I think of it as something that is just natural and I can place it on auto-pilot. That, I know, is pride.
God has chosen me. He has chosen me to be part of the great tapestry of life and salvation. He has chosen you as well. Most of us are not celebrity Catholics or “influencer” bishops or priests. We are not well known theologians or speakers. We are the humble workers in the vineyard. We are fathers and mothers, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and most importantly – friends. Our role is just as important as the Apostles. We have been chosen by the Lord but in a different way. I have been given a flock, my children, to shepherd. I have been called to lay down my life for my spouse! God has chosen me to preach the Gospel by the way I live my life. I have been given the intimidating ministry of friendship!
All of this applies to you as well! You have been chosen by the Lord to shepherd, preach, love, and lay down your life. All I ask of you is what the Lord asks of you, say YES! You have been chosen, we need you in this work, you have so much to offer.
Ready to get started or start again? Let me know your “ministry” in the comments: The Ministry of Grandparent? Apostle to the Dirty Diapers? Missionary of the Cubicle? Shepherd of Dirty Children? Friend to Friendless?….
Need help with your ministry of diaper changing, counseling friends, or shepherding children? The Blessed Mother is always here to help.
In Rosary Meditations for Real Life you’ll find helpful meditations for your daily work in the vineyard. Meditation take our common life events and find them hidden within each of the mysteries of the rosary. There are meditations on Marriage, Children, Death, Work, and more.
Learn more about this book and find free rosary meditation downloads here.
James M. Hahn, Author 