Jesus said to them, “You do not know what you are asking...” – Mark 10:38a
“In the same way, the Spirit too comes to the aid of our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought…” – Romans 8:26
My Prayers
When I pray, I very often think that I am praying with the will of God. I imagine that what I want is what He wants. Not only does God want what I want but He also wants it to happen the same way that I want it to happen. Silly, I know. His ways are not my ways, thanks be to God.
Recently I have been praying a lot. I have children and grandchildren to pray for daily. I have my spouse, my mother, and brother to bring to God in prayer. Friends and strangers ask for prayers and I pray for them all. I call to mind all of these souls and place them and their needs before the Lord asking Him to hear the intentions of their hearts. I intercede on their behalf. I call upon their patron saints and guardian angels to join me in my petitions for them.
Unintended Consequences of Prayer
However, a thought occurred to me the other day: What if my prayers on their behalf bring them harm? Well, at least harm from a human point of view.
I’ll attempt to illustrate what I mean by this. As many of my readers know, I was away from the Church for many years leading a hedonistic life. I didn’t chose another religion or other gods. I was my God. I was who I worshipped, adored, and sacrificed to.
Meanwhile, my mother, father, and brothers were praying for me. I am sure others were as well. They were praying that I would get back onto the right path. They were praying that I’d find peace and happiness. They prayed that I might return to God who stood at the door ready to run and meet me when I returned.
What if these very heartfelt prayers and intercessions are what led my relationships failing? What if these petitions on my behalf were heard by God and rather than taking everything from me, He let me have everything I thought I wanted? What if their “Thy will be done” prayers moved God’s heart to allow me to suffer; allowed me to hit rock bottom?
The Prayers of James and John
In today’s Gospel James and John pray for a place in the Kingdom. They pray that they might be with Him in glory. In the parallel in Matthew, it is their mother who intercedes with this prayer for her children.
God has answered this prayer a thousand-fold. Afterall, we now address them as St. James the Greater and St. John the Evangelist or St. John the Beloved or St. John the Apostle!
Yet, this ascension to the glory of Heaven wasn’t granted immediately. The answer to their prayers followed a long, arduous, dangerous path. St. James preached the Gospel and was beheaded by Herod. St. John preached the Gospel and was exiled to Patmos where he remained until his death. The only Apostle not martyred for the faith.
Is this what James and John had in mind, suffering, martyrdom, exile, when they made their request of Jesus? Probably not, but Jesus did, “The cup that I drink, you will drink and with the baptism with which I am baptized, you will be baptized“. Is this what their mother, Salome, prayed for when she approached Jesus? Most likely not.
Praying without Reserve
St. James tells us, “The prayer of a righteous man has great power in its effects.” God hears our prayers even when we think He doesn’t. But this doesn’t mean that His methods are ours. Our prayers for healing may seem to make the sickness worse but God sees the heart and soul of the one afflicted. Our prayers for conversion may mean that our loved one will be moved toward rock bottom. Our prayers for light and guidance may bring about a deeper darkness so that the light can be seen more clearly.
This in no way should make us hesitate in our prayers. This is the true test of praying, with a trusting heart, “Thy will be done“. What is His ultimate will? He “desires everyone to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.” (1 Timothy 2:4) Like James and John, this path will look different for each person. Our prayers help with the journey. Although it may be difficult at times, difficult to watch, difficult to endure, difficult to keep faith, we must keep His ultimate will in mind.
Lord, I ask not for a seat at your right or left. I ask only to be, with my friends and family, in Heaven with You! Grant this prayer in the ways you see fit. You know what is best for each of us. Teach me to pray, thy will be done, from the heart no matter the (temporary) cost in this life. Amen.
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James M. Hahn, Author 